Current Obsession:

When I was a freshman in high school and excelling in my low-level biology class, I briefly believed that one day I would become a hot lady veterinarian and move to the countryside where I would spend my days delivering cow-babies and setting broken legs of sheepdogs while wearing floppy straw hats and backless peasant tops from the Delia's catalog. Woo! Luckily, my interest in studying medicine fizzled after I spent a day in a medical research laboratory, bored to tears. Also luckily, my interest in backless peasant tops from the Delia's catalog (and, in fact, backless garments of all varieties) fizzled after I had to Nair my back before I could wear my only slighlty revealing senior prom dress (For that, I will blame my mother's ancestors, who hail from a land where women are known for growing hair in unconventional places, and my father's ancestors, who were part Troll).



Anywho, the one element of that freshman fantasy that did stay with me was the whole floppy straw hat thing. This winter, I was watching "The Jewel of the Nile" on the Man Hater Channel, and in the opening scene, Kathleen Turner - playing a dimwitted journalist doing a story on a shady Emir in an ambiguous Middle Eastern location - is sitting on a boat wearing some brootiful, romantic straw accoutrement. It was then that I decided that this would be the summer where I put aside my irrational fear of looking like a Kentucky Derby yuppy or pre-amnesia "Overboard" Goldie Hawn and jump on the big summer hat bandwagon. After unsuccessfully hunting for one that actually fit my big head, I was getting slightly discouraged. However, last Saturday at the mall during a Shoe Shopping Death March, I was drawn by unseen forces into Gap. I don't know how this happened because I hate all Gap Inc stores and their crappy products, but as I was unenthusiastically poking through their accessories section I saw that, GOD BLESS THEM, THEIR HATS COME IN SIZE LARGE! So I got this:

Yaaaaaay!

But guess what, Gap? I still hate you.

Mein Hut/N'a Pas/Drei Echen

After a couple of knit-a-thons, I finally completed my Steve Zissou hat. I was really happy with the pattern - it was the Needle Beetle's "Seaman's Cap". I followed the directions for the size large (because my dome be HUUUUGE), but it actually turned out a little too loose. This could either be because my head is not as hefty as I thought, or because I don't even know what size my needles are and I refuse to knit pre-project test swatches - forget that garbage!

Jaguar Shark, here I come.

In other news, Wiki and I got together this afternoon for a flippin' craftravaganza. Look at all of our beautiful headdress-making supplies:

I was rather unsatisfied with my kindergartener-on-crack creation, but Wiki is stunning in her British Officer/Pirate/Trash-Treasure chapeau, no? This photo certainly does not do it justice.

Seriously, more people should wear things on their heads. It's fun, and funny.

Don't Tase Me, Bro!

On my way home from work, I usually bike past a hoard of wankster teenage boys who hang out in the used car lot by my apartment(who hangs out in used car lots, really?). Due to my traditional all-black bicycling ensemble, they like to make cracks about the Wicked Witch of the West as I pass by (which I don't really mind - she had a rather poor complexion but she was elegant in an evil way). Now I can't wait to hear what they say when they see me in this getup:

My beautiful future hat:

ellita.etsy.com

To be paired with something like this:

PlantLove Botanical lipstick - Sephora.com

And these(for which I paid an exorbitant shipping fee, grr):

forever21