BEHOLD, the fruits of my labor: 25 feet of wool-blend tartan transformed into... A semi-authentic MAN-KILT! (is that redundant? are kilts always manly?)
I was surprised by the abundance of handy kilt-making resources. This site is particularly good. I just followed the instructions, cheated with a little machine sewing, and cranked that sucker out in a day or so. The worst part was ironing all of thoses pleats, oh lordy!
Now the swine-flu infected birthday boy has something nice to wear while he smokes his pipe, haha.