Saturday, September 27, 2008

Don't Tase Me, Bro!

On my way home from work, I usually bike past a hoard of wankster teenage boys who hang out in the used car lot by my apartment(who hangs out in used car lots, really?). Due to my traditional all-black bicycling ensemble, they like to make cracks about the Wicked Witch of the West as I pass by (which I don't really mind - she had a rather poor complexion but she was elegant in an evil way). Now I can't wait to hear what they say when they see me in this getup:

My beautiful future hat:

To be paired with something like this:

And these(for which I paid an exorbitant shipping fee, grr):


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Why Can't Ghosts Have Babies? - Cause They Have Hollow-weenies!!!

Halloween is fast approaching, my babies, and I hope you're all coming up with costume ideas as awesome as mine, HAHA! Just kidding, I'm not that vain.

Aaaaanywho, I don't recall from whom I ripped off this idea(some poor unrecognized cybernaut) but I am currently working on my TOM SELLECK costume. For all of you children who don't know, Tom Selleck played Hawaii-based private investigator Magnum P.I. in what, the seventies? eighties? I'm too young to know. The only reason that I am familiar at all with Mr. Selleck is that a relative who I will call "Linda" is obsessed with him and owns every piece of Selleck paraphenalia ever manufactured: magazines! calendars! coffee mugs! oh my! And oh, what she would not do for a cake such as this:

Check that chocolate sprinkle chest hair!

The costume will be fairly simple, consisting of aviator sunglasses, a Hawaiian shirt, khaki short-shorts, tube socks, a trucker hat, and a fake moustache. I'm also planning on semi-perming my hair and drawing curly chest hairs all ovah mah bosom - yeahah!

Now, I just need to get invited to a boss party(as my mother would say). Halloween is on a Friday this year!

UPDATE: Wait - what? I have an apartment! I have friends! I can throw a party! Mwaha!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Santa Inez

For those of you who don't know(which would be everyone except for the three people who consistently read my last blog, heh), I had the privilege of designing a tattoo for my right-hand gal, Wiki, this past summer. Click the design for the background info, if you please.
And here is the final product:

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

No you fool! Race Bannon is LEFT-handed!!

Of course we all know now that imperialism sucks, but I'd like to send a shout out to the 19th century Brits for spreading the near east love by unofficially introducing the western world to the lovely head adornment known as the turban(don't forget badminton and pyjamas, either - woot!)
(quite the dome, eh?)
Also, I believe that Haji Quest was a proponent in demonstrating the accessory's utility:
-hide stolen goods - check
-signal rescue planes - check
-escape by way of upper story windows - check
-restrain mentally ill international supervillains - check

Later came Prada's satin jewel-toned lovelies, and finally, THIS:
How Ella came up with this idea, I know not. But let me tell you, I nearly crapped my pants with excitement when I saw it.

GUSH: The photograph alone is fantabulous, and I find this modern knit interpretation to be gorgeous and super relevant to the conservative/butt-freezing-cold environment that is called Nebraska. You can all bet your shiny boots that I'll be purchasing one of these puppies as soon as my paycheck is in my hot little hand.


Last Sunday, Wiki, Daawuud and I went to the Box for the final show of Lincoln's annual indie music festival. There, we witnessed the wonder that is called Pattern Is Movement. "Gay lumberjacks!" I shrieked with glee as two rosy-cheeked men with beards and suspenders took the stage to barrage us with their phat beats and quasi-operatic vocals. Unfortunately, though, due to an assortment of factors including but not limited to unrequited love and.....unrequited love, we left soon after their set.

"Something better is just around the corner," Wiki[God bless 'er] was telling a blubbering me when, literally, around the corner(OK, not around the corner but down the street) came the Pattern Is Movement boys! After professing our love to them, we had a wonderful chat and found out that they are the nicest people EVER! Then Wiki told them that I had purchased one of their shirts and was planning on making a dress from it. They gave me some styling tips(yellow leggings, white shoes, face paint, what?) and told me that if it was awesome enough they would post a picture of it on their myspace. This will explain to my coworkers why I'm spending my lunch hour every day this week embroidering like a Cambodian sweatshop slave. I hope those guys' eyeballs fall out of their heads when they see themselves immortalized in thread and pink cotton jersey - hee! I'll post pictures as soon as I'm finished.