Sunday, July 25, 2010

Ghetto Home Fabulous: Trippin'

Disclaimer: This post is about Kansas. Since half of the people who read this blog were in Kansas with me, you should skip this unless you want to see really unflattering photos of yourselves.

OK. So. A whole posse of us Nebraskans went down to visit dear, dear Anna in Lawrence (Larry). I had been planning such a trip since last June, but sometimes it takes a while for me to make things happen.

Anywho, on Saturday I gassed up my buggy and headed southward. It's so nice to see unfamiliar towns - even p0-dunky ones. Most of my job involves reading very old regional newspapers, so it is cool to drive through, say, Nemaha City and see the old town hall and think, "Oh hey, that's where that guy got lynched in 1872 when he killed his fellow farmhand in a fit of rage!", heh heh.

Highway South 75, if you were wondering what it looks like, because I know you were:Three hours into the trip, as I was attempting to simultaneously drive, discuss the movie "Inception" with my brother over the phone, peel a banana with my teeth, and sing along to the only CD I could find in my car - the, uhh, Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, I realized that I was not on the recommended google maps course. How did that happen, I wonder?

"I'm lost!" I whined to my brother. "I don't even know what town I'm in right now!" Then I saw a sign that said "Welcome to Lawrence, KS."

"Oh wait. Nevermind. Bye."

The first thing I did was find a bathroom and eat a buffalo burger. Not at the same time. Local Burger makes these delicious sweet potato fries called "Progressive Potatoes". I think they should change the name to "Totally Tasty Tubers." Anna's apartment is a den of awesome - pink walls, minty kitchen, shamazing wig collection, cats named Scully and Mulder - not to mention the Tiger Beat poster of Michael J. Fox hanging over the oven, bestillmyheart.

Torture Garland

Mulder the Cat

Sexy Priest CalendarAfter lunch, we headed towards Clinton Lake. We didn't have swimsuits, so we stopped by Target on the way to pick some up. Pickins were kind of slim, so I had to settle on a 50's style one-piece that gave me pointy torpedo boobs.

When we finally found the lake, there was a thunderstorm and the beach was closed due to flooding. We did what any sensible people would do and went swimming at the boat ramps instead. The rain was chilly, but as Tom said, the water was "warm as God's pee."

That night we saw Anna's play. Let me tell you, nobody does "bitter, delusional, ex-Southern Belle hag" like Anna. Brilliant.


Skip to the morning - I think this is how everyone felt upon waking up.But Anna made us pancakes and all was well.Up close and personal with Tyne. I sure didn't take this picture.We are messy.I refused to leave until I was shown around town. It is a fine place, full of Dillon's food marts and yarn stores and fabric stores, and lots of hipsters.We went to the European/British Stuff store.Hot Scots Throwin' Shots, woo!Then we sat outside and drank Frenchberry juice like faux winos. Megan was going to get a tattoo, but all of the tattoo parlors were closed on Sunday, so we settled for fakes.


All too soon it was time to go back to Nee-braska.

Hasta la vista, Bébé.

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