1. This blog has been lacking in the arts and crafts department for some time now. Hopefully this will change soon.
2. The sound of my phone vibrating against my lunch tupperware sounds like someone blowing a conch. When I get a phone call I just want to scream from my cubicle, "Get to the treehouses! Raise the rope ladders! The pirates are coming!"
3. Yesterday in a lapse of judgement I went out on the slick city streets wearing my now-treadless fugly boots. Of course I biffed it right in the middle of the road - again. I just got one of those ipods that shuffles when you shake it, so when I fell down, the impact changed the song to Sia's "Breathe Me". I was still sitting in a greasy puddle when she sang, "Hurt myself again today/And the worst part is there's no one else to blaaaaaaaame". Was I silly to wish for sympathy from an electronic device?
P.S. The song I was listening to before my mishap was "Training Montage" from the Rocky soundtrack. Scoff all you will. It's brilliant and inspires an excess of confidence when navigating the slippery walkways of Nebraska, as well as while jogging through Philadelphia with a brick in each hand, or sneaking into meat lockers to practice your uppercut on sides of frozen beef.