Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Current Obsession:

When I was a freshman in high school and excelling in my low-level biology class, I briefly believed that one day I would become a hot lady veterinarian and move to the countryside where I would spend my days delivering cow-babies and setting broken legs of sheepdogs while wearing floppy straw hats and backless peasant tops from the Delia's catalog. Woo! Luckily, my interest in studying medicine fizzled after I spent a day in a medical research laboratory, bored to tears. Also luckily, my interest in backless peasant tops from the Delia's catalog (and, in fact, backless garments of all varieties) fizzled after I had to Nair my back before I could wear my only slighlty revealing senior prom dress (For that, I will blame my mother's ancestors, who hail from a land where women are known for growing hair in unconventional places, and my father's ancestors, who were part Troll).

Anywho, the one element of that freshman fantasy that did stay with me was the whole floppy straw hat thing. This winter, I was watching "The Jewel of the Nile" on the Man Hater Channel, and in the opening scene, Kathleen Turner - playing a dimwitted journalist doing a story on a shady Emir in an ambiguous Middle Eastern location - is sitting on a boat wearing some brootiful, romantic straw accoutrement. It was then that I decided that this would be the summer where I put aside my irrational fear of looking like a Kentucky Derby yuppy or pre-amnesia "Overboard" Goldie Hawn and jump on the big summer hat bandwagon. After unsuccessfully hunting for one that actually fit my big head, I was getting slightly discouraged. However, last Saturday at the mall during a Shoe Shopping Death March, I was drawn by unseen forces into Gap. I don't know how this happened because I hate all Gap Inc stores and their crappy products, but as I was unenthusiastically poking through their accessories section I saw that, GOD BLESS THEM, THEIR HATS COME IN SIZE LARGE! So I got this:


But guess what, Gap? I still hate you.

1 comment:

ambika said...

This post made me laugh out loud. I got my floppy hat from the gardening department of a local chain (kind of like Target) but really only wore it after passing out for the only time in my life due to the heat. Though it makes my hair frizzy, it does keep me upright.