Four-Eyes

I finally went to the eye doctor yesterday, after probably four or five years of whining about not being able to see clocks and chalkboards and street signs. I was kind of nervous about people touching my eyeballs and such, but there was really none of that. I got my prescription and as soon as I get a chance, I'll be off to pick out some frames. Hopefully some angular specs will help balance out my chub-tacular face.

Here's an edgy Prada pair

These Donna Karan tortoise shells are pretty rad:My current favorites are these D&G Bud Holly's, a la Rivers Cuomo:"Ooh Ooh and you're Mary Tyler Moore..."

Photos courtesy of LensCrafters.com

Another Lost Chance to Perform My Lethal Judo Chop

Today I had a very exciting shopping experience. My mum came to pick my carless self up from work at the mall, and we stopped to look at a cute-but-overpriced retro fairisle sweater on the way out. All of a sudden, someone started screaming about stolen diamonds just as a shady-looking character jogged towards the exit. As I was the only young person amongst a hoard of middle-aged ladies, apparently I was nominated to run after the fool and get his license plate number. "Go stop him!" some grandma barked at me, so I booked it out to the parking lot where I caught up with him just as he was getting into the waiting getaway-mobile. As I checked for his license plates(which he didn't even have), he threatened to do me bodily harm - what a sweetheart! Not wanting to end up with, as Ghetto Elmo would say, "a cap in my dome", I returned to the store, where the pack of old ladies seemed slightly disappointed that I had not tackled him to the asphalt. That probably wouldn't have ended well. I am currently enjoying daydreaming about ridiculous alternative outcomes, "like, such as": me pile-driving him, putting him in a choke hold, and then retrieving the diamonds, after which Channel 7 would feature me on the 5 o'clock news and Younkers would reward me with that cute-but-overpriced retro fairisle sweater, free of charge. Ah, yes.

RANT: In all seriousness, it makes me really angry when people think it's ok to steal. I'd rather live in the ghetto with no car and a crappy bicycle than have nice things that I didn't earn, like Mr. Hamburglar. Sigh.

I hope everyone had a wunderbar Christmas!

Santa and friends were extra good to me this year, it seemed. My funniest/favorite gift was a velour track suit from my mother. She is a huge fan of track suits, that woman. The past few years I have expressly forbidden her from buying me any sort of lounge wear(I hate that fashion limbo between day-wear and sleep-wear), but I finally caved when I started my new job and suddenly need something to wear after work that did not involve tights or footie pajamas.

And look at my Christmas present from Wiki(she has a new blog by the way - go read it)! She made it in something ridiculous like five days. That woman is a crocheting machine. There are one hundred granny squares, and each is a different color combination. Swoon.

And in keeping with my granny-chic aesthetic, I stopped by Anthropologie today on my post-Christmas spree and bought a BOATLOAD of dirt cheap china plates and cups. I am a happy, happy camper.

Merry Christmas To Me

I spent yesterday in bed, blowing my nose on Amigo's napkins and downing medicinal tea. Today I was feeling a little better, but still bad enough to go to work in my swimsuit cover-up and Ugg-ly boots. So much for breaking that dowdy library stereotype(although that outfit sounds a lot worse than it actually looked). Oh well. After walking home through a veritable blizzard and totally biffing it on the icy sidewalk in front of the art supply shop, I'm now full of pork pot stickers(thanks, Jojo) and frantically cleaning, packing, and making/wrapping presents for my twelve day forced vacation from work. We'll see how many days I can last before I start going crazy....

I'm in the bad habit of buying myself a Christmas every year, which now that I think about it sounds pretty bad. I just can't resist the sweet winter time deals! This beast was $15 at Goodwill. So far, all I can play are a couple of Bach inventions and "Nantes" by Beirut, which I'm sure my roommate is getting reeeeeeally tired of, hehe.

To: Breezy

From: Breezy

Now, Wiki and I are joining forces with our buds, G.W. and South Dakota, to start a band of musical awesomeness - ukulele, drum machine, synth, violin, melodica, and electric organ. It's gonna be good.

Turban Time, Part III

I still love this hat.

Not Now, Arctic Puffin!

Yesterday I finally learned that spray painting in subzero temperatures is a bad idea, unless you want frostbite and a crappy paint job. I was working on the plaque for the back of Wiki's Christmas plush taxidermy narwhal. It came out looking more like a stain than actual paint, which I guess was alright.
Now we just need to find a way to hang him on the wall....

Sabatee.

I awoke to this yesterday. Blue skies and warm, warm weather.
I decided to forgo housekeeping and instead head out to do some Christmas shopping.

It's business time.

After completing my first mission, I stopped by to see Wiki and ice some cream. Then, off to more shopping.

It was such a nice day that I decided to walk home from the store.

Just kidding - I missed my bus by about ten seconds. But it was a nice walk.

My house is right next to that pointy thing in the middle of the photo.

Later, I joined up with my posse and we took a field trip to a neighboring hick town.
....after which we dropped in to the Hi-Way diner and entertained ourselves by building towers of condiments
and toppling them.

3 o'clock.

= time for bed.

Goodnight, Saturday.

Sweet, Sweet Nostalgia

A while back, my friend Clint found the old Girl Talk game at a thrift store, and playing it has brought back memories of friends, laughter, and mild discomfort.

You see, I have very ambivalent feelings about Girl Talk. It's fun. It's hilarious. And it can be incredibly awkward(especially when the dare involves confronting my terrible phone phobia). So when I was at Thrift World last night and randomly came across a "New and Improved!" edition of the game, I hesitantly peeled the tape off the box and peeked in, only to discover that it was even MORE AWKWARD than its predecessor. And then I bought it anyway.

Yes I will happily perform a rap about the player sitting to my right! I will get on my hands and knees and bark like a dog for fourteen seconds! I will put lipstick on myself without a mirror! But I would rather not say who I have a crush on, or list each player's best and WORST(?!) quality. Pass the zits, please!

The Comeback

The store is slowly being restocked....

Is There a Fungus Amongus?

This fungi has been sitting on the shelf above my bed for quite a while, but I think I'm finally ready to send it out into the world.

Pink and Red

There seems to be a fierce debate going on about whether or not non-traditionally colored Christmas trees are legit. My little sparkly pink number has been getting a lot of flack, especially from this fellow in the foreground(who, if you look closely, happens to be sipping cheap Canadian whisky from one of my measuring cups, hmm). I personally feel that Christmas spirit can and should be reflected in all different forms and colors. So if it's not green and it's not natural, you'd better like it anyway or I will judo-flip you onto my hardwood floor. Peace on Earth, goodwill to men, right? :D
...
Well, now that I've gotten that out of my system, I just have one other little gem to share with you. I wanted to make a housewarming gift for Wiki, and after listlessly wandering the aisles of the craft supply store, I finally came up with the idea for this watermelon apron. It was pretty easy to make with a fat quarter of red cotton, some green bias tape, and ric rac. You can't see them very well in the photo, but I drew on the seeds with black permanent marker.

I've always been crazy about half-aprons, but I never really had the need for one until rather recently when I started baking bread once or twice a week, which is can get pretty messy considering the fact that, um, I'm a bit of a slob. So you can bet your boots I'll be making plenty more of these for myself, as well as some to sell on etsy(if I can part with them).

"Four, five weeks on the big canal..."

It's Amsterdam. I'm going to Amsterdam in the spring. Heeeeee! However, as the caveman plumber would say, "This not be cheap." I've shifted into crafting overdrive to help fund my travel addiction.

As soon as I get some decent natural light tomorrow, I'm photographing and posting on etsy a new woven duct tape coin purse(pictured above, in progress) and my plush stuffed toadstool :D

Hoi there!

I'm taking a little vacation in March. Here's a clue as to where I'll be headed:

Any guesses??

I've never even been out of the country before, so I'm pretty hyper with excitement at the moment :)

As Promised:

My punk rock father(nerd! haha)

Miko and Jann, right before I got LAID OUT!
My very first attempt at pie crust. It was pretty shabby...but tasty!

McDonalds Birthday Banquet for Yakov. We are so classy.

The first measly snow, as seen from my bedroom window.

It's A Bit Late, But...

I hope everyone had a nice little Thanksgiving. I drove home to stay with the parents for the extended weekend, where I fully appreciated hearing such phrases as: "Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge", "Let's go out to eat - we're paying", and the glorious "It's your little brother's job to clean the bathroom."

Other weekend highlights included:
- winning a pair of sparkle-socks in my extended family's nerdy Thanksgiving Olympics
- getting tackled face-first into an angry shrub by my beast of a brother
- slightly dirty jokes from my straight-laced parents
- swooning over Jeremy Enigk (for free!) in the company of my lovely friends
- turning the apartment into a holiday art installation
- first (short-lived) snow of the season

Photos! Tonight! Hopefully!

"Try one, try two...try all!"

I have finally learned that it is not a good idea to make bets with squirrelly little men named Plato.

The first instance involved guesstimating Dustin Hoffman's age. I stalked that man at MoMA! He doesn't look a day over 65!! But of course I was wrong, and ended up shelling out for ice cream.

Then last weekend, Plato and I were talking before I went to see Quantum of Solace. My Pop and brothers are obsessed with James Bond; because of them I know all sorts of lame trivia about Astin Martin DB5s and Walther PPKs. But I had to be all cocky and think that Goldfinger came before Dr. No! Of course not. So a few days later, Plato and I were off on the hour and forty minute walk to China Buffet("it's a beautiful day!", "we'll burn the calories that we're going to consume!"), and I was the one picking up the tab. Meh.

Now I'm sitting at home, nursing my throbbing foot-blister and helping Wiki make duct tape Moravian stars as thank-you gifts for the professors who wrote her reference letters for grad school.

Dance Pants Party!

There is no such thing as too much fun.

No One Knew Earl Grey Kept Such A Fine Herd of Angus?

from 1899 Nebraska Western News Democrat

I would like to know the story behind Mr. Patton branding teapots on all of his livestock. Maybe he just really loved tea. In that case, I would probably choose to brand my livestock with images of bicycles or Hostess snack cakes. Both of those might be pretty difficult, but that's OK because I don't have any livestock to brand anyway.

My Two Favorite Things = Music + Shame

So I just found out that my name in Elvish is "Bellethiel". I just had to tell the world. Thanks for posting that link, Ms. Angry Chicken :)
...

To address the ever-stylish Ambika's question from the last post: No, sadly my power outage was not the result of any wind storm. I say "sadly", because I would very much like to blame nature for my problems rather than my own stupidity. Apparently, after we moved into our apartment there was some, err, confusion as to who needed to pay the electric bill - "Landlady? Roommate? Me? How about....no one!" The bill did not get paid for two and a half months and the power was conveniently shut off on a Thursday night, when I would not be able to get to the electric...place(?) to pay the bill until Monday afternoon. But everything is fine now and I have learned some valuable lessons about communication and shady old landladies.

Moving on....

I spent my powerless Sunday with Wiki and family. We went to the house of her awesome grandma, LaVon(distinguished former Nebraska legislator, hey hey), who offerred Wiki any furniture she needed for her fancy new apartment. Let me tell you - her place was a treasure trove! I think it was Tommy who suggested starting an ebay store called "Grandma's Basement" and auctioning off her amazing stuff. Wiki picked out an ottoman, trundle bed(can you say "slumber party"?) and a hilariously opulent crystal and gold candy dish-thing. But we really hit the jackpot when we found this:

( ^ not exactly like mine, but close enough)

A legit melodica! And Grandma LaVon was nice enough to let me have it! Now Wiki and I are forming a ukelele/melodica ensemble and we plan to perform at open-mic night sometime in the near future. The potential playlist includes "YMCA", "Decatur" by Sufjan Stevens, a cover of a cover of "When You Were Mine" by Prince/Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, "My Humps" by Black-Eyed Peas(oh if only you knew how scandalized I was when that song came out and look at me now!), and last but not least, Daawuud is offering us four dollars to perform Meat Loaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love". This will be great since a) I want four dollars, and b) I have no shame!

I know you people out there have excellent taste in music - give us your suggestions for songs that would make for awesome covers!